Practicing Restraint

Spanking is very popular with a lot of couples, but I would not be surprised if bondage was actually much more popular. It does not involve any pain, and it allows you to submit to a partner and let them do as they will, which is an exciting fantasy for many.

There are a few caveats, though. Bondage can be dangerous if done carelessly. For example, someone who is tied up and standing up can lose their balance and fall over. Unable to use their bound hands to break their fall, they are likely to suffer a more serious injury. We have a Bondage Simulator in the Social Sciences department of our free Erotic University Virtual Campus where you can learn a number of basic bondage safety basics. It is a little bit hidden, but you can read the cheats to find it from the last menu item on the left side menu bar.

For the serious bondage afficionado, the tools of the trade can involve a serious expenditure. For more casual participants and those just looking to explore, we can safely recommend the high quality products from Sportsheets. We have tested their products over the years and have found that they continue to turn out quality products at a very reasonable price. They also tend to hold up well over time.

We have already reviewed their namesake Sportsheets product. We tried a couple of their other items intended for bondage. The first was the Sports Cuffs and Tethers Kit. It comes with a pair of their Sports Cuffs, soft comfortable neoprene wrist restraints that secure with velcro, along with a pair of polypropylene webbing tethers that you can adjust down to a distance of 1′ 6 “. The actual maximum distance cuff to cuff is 4′ 6.5”, as this includes the length of the hardware that attaches the cuffs to the tether.

There are many ways to use them. If you connect both tethers together and attach the handcuffs, from cuff to cuff the distance will be 8′ 6.5” inches. This is not quite large enough to go around a California King, but can go all the way around smaller beds.

For a larger bed with a side rail, use a single tether, open up a loop where you adjust the length, wrap the tether around the side rail and then through the loop and pull tight. You now have it securely looped around the rail at one end, the other end goes up onto the bed with the cuff. You can still adjust it at this point to make it shorter. Do this on both sides of the bed and you can easily secure both wrists. We have two sets, since spreadeagled on the bed can be rather fun.

We were at a play party in a rather expensive home with a beautiful wrought iron staircase rail, and the idea was to secure one of the women to the rail with sportscuffs. My concern was that the metal hardware of the cuffs might scratch or chip the metal railing. The tether provided a solution, since it was soft enough to not do any damage, and could easily by wrapped around the railing and provide attachment to the cuffs while avoiding direct contact of metal with the railing.

My wife Kris is very fond of these, and has used them in a wide variety of creative ways. They can be used to attach someone to just about anything they can be wrapped around, including chairs, bent over a table (a very sturdy table, we should caution), or even to attach someone to a vacuum cleaner (which may be the only way to get some guys to vacuum).

My favorite of the two are the Door Jam Cuffs. Simple to set up, simple to use, and a very simple concept. It converts any door into a bondage wall. You get two sportscuffs, two neoprene straps, and two plastic tubes (which I replaced with a long metal bar of the same diameter because I thought it looked cooler). The tube slips through the loop in the end of the strap. The end of the strap with the tube goes over the top of the door and to the back. Close the door, and the end with the tube can not pull out. From the top of the door to the cuff is a little over 9”.

Our bedroom has double doors, and I often leave them set up on the door that we don’t use that often. Obviously, you want to do this in a situation where the door can either lock or you know that no one will try to walk through it at an inopportune time.

For many people, the look of someone restrained with their hands above their head is sexy. I guess I am in that category. This also makes it quite unlikely that the person standing is going to fall and hurt themselves. It provides a very secure attachment.

Both of these items have been enjoyed by both my wife and I and various friends, and have become pretty much essentials for us. For those who enjoy this sort of play, these are basic standards that should be in anyone’s toy box.