Sexy Dining

Most times when people combine sex and dining it is in private. There are opportunities to combine the two in public, although not generally with actual sex (although that might happen in a swing club that served food). There are sexual themes that have been incorporated into dining, however. And there are sexually themed edible items.

What got me thinking about this was the recent opening of a Voodoo Donuts in Hollywood at Universal Citywalk. There are others around the country. The original is in Portland, but they also have shops in Eugene, Oregon, and in Denver and Austin. Sure, you might think there is something sexual in their slogans “Good things come in pink boxes” and “The magic is in the holes,” but that may be just because you have a dirty mind. Their donut boxes are pink, and donuts do have holes. There is no mistaking the sexual intent of their Cock-N-Balls donut, though. It is a shaped raised yeast donut triple filled with Bavarian cream and topped with chocolate frosting. The Gay Bar is a raised yeast doughnut filled with Bavarian cream and topped with vanilla frosting, with a row of fruit loops in all the colors of the rainbow.

Deserts have a long association with sexuality. Many fruits are considered aphrodisiacs. Chocolate has been associated with sex and sexuality for as long as their has been a good red wine to accompany it. It can be more explicitly associated with sex when the chocolate itself is molded in naughty ways. You can find online adult chocolates through Sweet n Tasty in Boston, and Sinful Sweets in Shrewsberry, MA. For the do it yourselfer, Streichs has a wide selection of adult chocolate molds and other related baking items.

For my wife’s birthday one year her cake was naked. I am not talking about the recent “naked cake” concept that has been a fad of late, where the cake is unfrosted. That is just plain perversion. No, I mean where you get a photo printed in edible ink on edible paper and it is put on the top of the cake which is liberally decorated around the picture with frosting. In our case, it was a photo of my wife topless wearing angel wings- a favorite photo of mine.

Your local grocery store can probably print an edible photo, but they might balk at nudity and especially at anything more suggestive. Also keep in mind that they won’t print copyrighted material. You must own the rights to the photo. There are national mail order services you can use. Edible Cake Images will do tasteful nudes if you own the rights to the photo.

Most bakeries that do erotic cakes can also do custom photos and will probably be more amenable to adult images. I am most familiar with bakeries that offer erotic cakes in the Los Angeles area. There is Cake and Art in West Hollwood, where they have been serving up sexy cakes for 40 years. Helena Wirth Cakes has two locations in Los Angeles. They have been around for 30 years. Both are top bakeries that offer a wide variety of cake selections. There are others, but these are the two best I know of. If you live in or near a major city, a Google local search for erotic cakes will probably find a bakery near you.

Maybe you are thinking of more of a sit down dining situation. Many strip clubs offer food, although I have never actually eaten in one. Some of the big clubs do offer decent food, though, and some even have great food. If you are in Las Vegas, there are several options, including Treasures Gentleman’s Club and Steakhouse that has a fine surf and turf special, and the Crazy Horse III that has a full sushi menu. In Austin, Texas there is the Palazzio Gentleman’s Club that serves prime steaks and other entrees. In New York, The Penthouse Executive Club offers the fine dining of Robert’s Steakhouse. It is highly rated, and considering it is in Manhattan, not overly pricey, but certainly not cheap. And, it is not the only strip club restaurant with a Zagat rating. In Miami, there is Touché Restaurant & Lounge on the roof of the E11even, a strip club with a Cirque de Soliel vibe. In Philadalphia, Delilah’s is a Gentleman’s Club and Steakhouse of top quality for both the eyes and the tastebuds. In Los Angeles there is Plan B on the Westside, a Gentleman’s Club with a highly rated cocktail lounge and fine dining.

The most well-known combo of sex and dining is through the chain Hooters, which started the trend of what is now dubbed as “breastaurants.” A few years after them and along came the Irish themed Tilted Kilt. I love the outfits at both, with perhaps a bit of an edge for the Tilted Kilt. I really like those little plaid kilts. We tried it out on Mother’s Day, figuring that it would be one of the few restaurants that would not be crowded that day. We were right. I wish that I was more of a fan of the food at both of these places, though.

Twin Peaks has locations across the U.S. They have a sports lodge theme, where, based on how skimpily clad the servers are, it is always summer. My wife went to college to study forest management and did lumberjack things like caber tossing, so the lumberjacky outfit might work for me. They also have a better reputation for the quality of their food. There are also more regional spots, like the Winghouse Bar and Grill, which has many locations around Florida. The women wear outfits somewhat similar to the Hooters outfits, but not too similar, as Hooters sued them over it and lost in court.

Then there is nyotaimori sushi. I have tried this a couple of times, once at a swing club and once it was setup at one of our private events. I am not a big fish fan, but I did have a vegetable roll, and maybe it did taste just a bit better served off of a naked girl. It could also be off of a naked man, in which case it is called nantaimori sushi. You are not actually eating off of bare skin, but off of banana leaves placed on their skin. They are usually not completely naked, except when I partook at a swing club. They say that in the traditional Japanese version, the model does not speak, but actually, I think this is actually of more recent vintage and there is no ancient tradition. I liked it when I could converse with the model. I don;t think you really want them lying there as if dead.

Sure, this can be objectifying by its very nature, but so can having someone wait on you when you treat them as just a servant. It is all about context. The model at our event enjoyed it, and thought it was fun to be the sexy girl on the table that everyone paid attention to. I have read several accounts written by nyotaimori models

Here in Los Angeles we have a number of catering companies that offer this. They bring it to you in the privacy of your own home. You can find them on Yelp. A quick Yelp search turned up caterers in Miami, but nothing in San Francisco and New York. The Nyotaimori Experience is a catering company that offers the service in some 21 major cities. As you can probably guess, this is not an inexpensive service.

There are very few restaurants that offer this. We may have had the first in the country here in L.A. It opened in 2007 but is now closed. When it is offered, it is usually a special event, such as at the Geisha House Steak & Sushi in Las Vegas that is having a special Naked Sushi event at the end of July. Realistically, most people are not going to get to experience this, but you can come close- there is an excellent video of one of the Geisha House Naked Sushi events that takes you behind the scenes and lets you see what it is like.

You have had a fine meal and dessert. Now it is time to relax with a nice cup of coffee. Is coffee better when made by a topless or bikini clad barrista. I don’t know. I don’t drink coffee. For those who do, you’ll have to answer the question yourself. I could not find any actual topless places, which would land them in adult entertainment category and these are often in little drive-thru huts. Some have women just wearing pasties, though.

The trend took off in Washington, where they really love their coffee. It is controversial in some parts of the State, as can be seen in a 2015 Zagat documentary on bikini barristas. The people interviewed opposed to it are just exactly what you would expect, with the usual “concern” about the women doing it and expressed desire to protect them from themselves and their own apparent inability to make decisions for themselves.

A quick Yelp turned up a lot of them near Seattle. I have been to Cowgirls Espresso in Las Vegas. They originated in Washington, where they have 8 locations. I did not have coffee, but I found the young woman working their sexy and pleasant to talk to. More my cup of tea, quite literally, is Milk Teaze, a Boba Tea House located in Las Vegas’ Chinatown section. There what they call Boba Babes, Asian women in lingerie, serve you milk tea, ice tea, and slushes.