Sex Dice Roundup

This is one of the least expensive, easiest to play adult games on the market. You roll the dice and follow the instructions on that side of the die. Many manufacturers make these, and there are many variations. These are readily available on Amazon and through your local adult boutique.

You can play as is by simply taking turns and rolling. We prefer to use them as penalties in other games. In a game of trivia, if you give an incorrect answer you have to roll the dice. If someone runs out of money in Monopoly, you can give them the option of rolling the dice. They could even be incorporated into strip poker when your opponent has run out of clothing.

This simple dice game has become part of the popular culture. In The Devil Wears Nada episode of the television series The Simpsons, Homer plays the game and gets several unfortunate combinations, including “spank hair,” “lick eyes,” and “whisper into ass.” The games below offer much more fun combinations, although there is an occasional “eat ear.” We’ll tell you how to fix that.

 

Holiday Products Dirty Dice

Dirty Dice

One of the dice tells you what to do; lick, blow, kiss, squeeze, eat, or suck. The other die tells you where; above waist, below waist, breast, lips, ? (roller’s choice) and ear.

Friends of ours pointed out that the ear option was pretty weak, but there was just enough room on the die to ink in the letter “R”, to convert it to rear. We now play it this way, and it is much better.

 

California Exotic Novelties Hot Sex Dice

dice calexotics

I don’t know why, but throwing big dice is more fun. These 2.25 inch foam dice use drawings instead of words. One has pictures of Breasts, Hand and Foot, Butt, Female Genitals, Male Genitals, and the text YOUR CHOICE. The other has Lick, Sex, Kiss, Caress, Suck, and Free Pick.

 

PipeDreams Glow in the Dark Erotic Dice

dice pipedreams

The power has gone out, you are bored, and looking for something interesting to do. Just bring out these glow in the dark dice. One has Massage, Lick, Touch, Blow, Tease, Kiss, and the other has Lips, Nipple, Body, Boobs, Toes, ? (roller’s choice). Of course, if you stored them in a dark drawer, you’d be out of luck. These do need exposure to light to get them to glow.

 

California Exotic Novelties Spicy Dice

Dice Spicy

Spicy Dice ups the game a bit with more dice and more options on them. You get three dice. Two of them are triangular and eight sided. On one of the eight sided dice the options are Lick, Sex, Suck, Kiss, Tickle, Nibble, Blow, Caress. On the other, which determines where those actions take place, there is Thighs, Privates, Lips, Nipples, Neck/Ears, Sex, Toes, Belly Button.

There is also a third six sided die. According to the official instructions, you only use this every fourth roll. It changes the venue, with the different sides sporting Car, Bedroom, Your Choice, Kitchen, Outside, and Bathroom.

 

Funrarity 12 Sided Sex Dice

dice funrarity

Getting past why you would want your company name to have both fun and rarity together, they offer a set of 2 12 sided dice. One has numbers, the other has sexual positions. As is common with sexual position dice from a number of manufacturers, it can be difficult to make out what the tiny drawing is supposed to represent, and strangely, some of the positions are repeated.

 

There are lots of other dice variations from other manufacturers, all generally similar to the above. There is a set made in China, I am unclear who actually makes it, and it offers a set of seven dice. That is enough to basically turn this into Mad-Libs. Here is the breakdown:

1. Suck, Bite, Lick, Kiss, Tickle, Massage
2. Lips, Ear, Ass, Toes, Boobs, Belly Button
3. Bedroom, Bathroom, Kitchen, Sofa, Outside, Anywhere
4. 5 seconds, 50 seconds, 30 seconds, 5 minutes, 30 minutes, Choose

Okay, we are not even done yet with the dice and there are so many things wrong. Very few people want their sex partner to bite their ass for 30 minutes. Or tickle their ear for that matter. And how does one massage the lips, anyway? This definitely devolves into Homer Simpson territory. And as to the choose option, are you going to choose 57 seconds instead? Maybe seven minutes and fifteen seconds?

But wait. It gets stranger. They throw in a dice with household chores on it.

5. Buy Vegetable, Sweep Ground, Cook, Wash Clothes, Do Nothing, Wash Dishes.

This might be wandering into sexist territory. I’m guessing the “Do Nothing” option is the default for the type of men who think traditionally women’s household chores belong in a sex game.

Another die is similar to number 1, but the Me refers to the person rolling it.

6.Kiss Me, Bite Me, Massage Me, Hug Me, Tickle Me, Lick Me

The last die features tiny depictions of sexual positions. As with the Funrarity version, some complain that it is difficult to make out exactly what the positions are.

Another version of the above still includes the house work die, but trades out the “do it to me” die for a drinking die, instructing you to drink specific amounts of alcohol.

 

Personally, I like the simpler versions, and I really like the larger dice. With the proper mood, any of these can make for a fun evening, especially if you get creative and go beyond the bare bones game rules that are included, if they are included at all.