Couples and Strip Clubs

It is becoming more and more common to see couples in gentlemen’s clubs. Some clubs even sponsor special couple’s nights. A number of them will let the woman in free. A local Déjà Vu even had a swinger’s night, and another had special promotions for couples where you got in at a special price and they even gave away some free promotional items.

From the male point of view, having a female with you can have a lot of pluses, especially if she does not mind a little female attention. In fact, if your female partner is bisexual (or if you are female and bisexual and your male partner is good with that) then it can be a terrific time. One of the best times I ever had at a strip club was when I went with my wife and another bisexual woman to a lesbian strip club that allowed males if they were accompanied by a female.

What if the female partner is not bisexual, and not at all attracted to women? Hopefully, you have a secure relationship where you have moved beyond trivial jealousy. In that type of relationship, instead of triggering jealousy, the male partner’s sexual arousal from the visual stimulation of women that frankly he does not have a snowball’s chance in hell of actually having a sexual relationship with can trigger female arousal. It develops a desire to demonstrate why he is lucky to actually have you in his life as a lover. This is a basic psychological response, although it is often masked by the less mature jealousy response in a lot of people. This works both ways, which is why I wish there were more strip clubs that featured both male and female dancers.

When you sit at the rail as a couple, you will get a little extra attention from the dancers. Even if you sit at a table, plenty of dancers will come over and talk with you. There is a good chance that you’ll get more attention as a couple than you will as a single, and it is certainly a lot more fun than going on your own.

One of the first questions many women ask is how should they dress. It is okay for women to dress sexily to go to a club, although the outfit should be street legal and not too over the top. It is always better to be dressed a little better than too casually. Some clubs don’t allow jeans, tank tops, or other casual wear, so you might want to check out their dress code first.

The rules at a club are basically the same for women as they are for men. Of course, it is against the rules to get up and start dancing yourself, even on the floor.

How the experience plays out for you and your partner depends a lot on her. If the woman is strictly heterosexual, will she enjoy watching her guy being turned on by a lap dance? Will she enjoy being around all of that male sexual energy? For many women, these can be big turn-ons, and perhaps the only way to find out is to try it. There are also strip clubs that welcome same sex couples, typically those that cater to a gay or lesbian clientele.

Women do get offered lap dances. The last time we were together at a strip club in Vegas for the AVN convention, my very gregarious wife even had some of the guys there buy her lap dances. You should think ahead about whether you are comfortable with this, and I mean both of you. Do not do anything that makes you uncomfortable. Don’t let yourself feel pressured into doing something you don’t really want to do, even if it is to please your partner. It can lead to bad feelings later on and spoil what could be a fun evening. As with everything in a relationship, good communication between the two of you is important. Decide ahead of time what your expectations are. And to the guys, don’t be a dick and try and pressure her into something she is not comfortable with.

Of course, if she is bisexual or just has an interest in exploring it a little, then the experience can be even more fun. It can be a much safer environment for exploring fantasy than hiring a hooker or running personal ads. While you are there to pay some attention to the dancers, make sure that you are also paying a lot of attention to each other.

For a bisexual woman, there are some real advantages. According to one bisexual woman I know who enjoys going to clubs, many of the clubs have only one bathroom for both the women and the dancers. She found it a great opportunity to go in and flirt a little, as many of the dancers were in there primping.

Many dancers also feel a lot safer with couples, and a lot of them are also bisexual. Not all clubs allow you to get dances together, but when they do, your best bet is to let the dancer dance for the lady while the guy watches. The dancers tend to push the boundaries a lot more with another women than they will with a guy, and you can get one hell of a show. Almost every woman I have talked to who got a private dance when she went to a club with her partner got a much better dance than he did. Sometimes it’s really good to be the girl.

In my many years studying couples and sexual exploration, it is far more often that it is the guy who has the jealousy issues. There are men who find themselves getting very jealous when their partners express sexual interest in other women. They might not even know ahead of time that they will have this reaction, and I have heard stories where they behaved very badly afterwards. The worst problems happen with guys who think everything should be all about them, and they also tend to have problems in swing clubs. In both of these types of environments, the woman will get more attention and he has to be okay with that.

You need to agree ahead of time for your first strip club experience as a couple that if either of you starts to feel uncomfortable, you will tell your partner and the two of you will leave. Not just five more minutes, but immediately, and with no recrimination. You can talk more about it later and maybe work out what the issues were, but it is important that you both respect each other’s needs and feelings- even if you were having a terrific time.

So, if you are a lady and you want a dance from one of the dancers, how do you find out if they dance for other girls? It is usually not very difficult to tell. The ones that are interested usually come right on over and start talking to you, and they will make eye contact with you a flirt with you a little. If they get no response from you, they’ll quickly switch their attentions over to your partner. A lot of dancers really enjoy dancing for other women, and women tend to be better tippers as well. I almost have to keep my wife from just throwing handfuls of money as she gets very enthusiastic. Most will be flattered if you ask them to dance, and if they are not interested, they will just say that they don’t dance with women. You’ll know, though, by the way they react to you and how much interest they show. Trust us, you’ll have no trouble finding dancers who are interested.

It can also be a lot of fun going to Gentlemen’s Clubs with other couples. There’s safety in numbers, and the women may feel more comfortable with other women there they know.

How do you find a club that caters to couples? In major cities they typically have local alternative papers that have ads for local strip clubs, and the ad will often mention that they are open to couples. The web site will sometimes mention it. For example, Little Darlings in Las Vegas (our favorite city for strip clubs) has an ad offering couples packages. The WYNLV site has a great section on Couple Friendly Vegas Strip Clubs, by the way. There are online resources such as The Ultimate Strip Club List that has reviews where the subject is often mentioned. It also has basic info about strip clubs if they are something new to you. Yelp, somewhat to my surprise, can also be a good resource of information. Here is an example link for the Los Angeles area Yelp for Adult Entertainment for Couples.

Not every woman is going to enjoy the strip club experience, obviously, but for many, it can be a very exciting adventure they share with their partner. Chances are, it will lead to a pretty hot night of sex together afterwards, which is absolutely the best way to finish off a night out with strippers.