Well, emails anyway. We can’t cover everything, and sometimes readers have very specific questions about adult products. We always try to respond. Here are a few that might be of general interest.
A reader writes: I am wondering if you would know where you can get a vibrator called THE SADDLE VIBRATOR? Me and my wife saw it in an older movie of Shane and Seymore Butts. Thanks.
Answer: The Sybian is also referred to as the Sybian Saddle Vibrator. Basically, it is a saddle that you straddle that has a vibrator coming up out of the middle that moves and vibrates in several ways. Vibration is adjusted by a hardwired controller. They can be ordered direct from Sabco Research Associates, the manufacturer. Their basic package normally runs $1345, which is actually a little less expensive than it was several years ago.
They have been in business for 30 years, offer a lifetime guarantee, and have updated their attachments to 100% silicone. This is the Cadillac of sex toys. Not every woman loves them, but those that do really, really love them. The company offers something that very few sex toy manufacturers do: a 45 day return policy. There is a $175 return fee, so basically it comes out to a less than $4 a day rental if you decide it is not for you.
A reader writes: I recently bought a Pocket Rocket since I read the great review on your site! I have 3 questions: 1) Are you supposed to use it with the plastic cap on or off? Didn’t know if the cap is a “safety cap” or a protector for the rocket?
2) Are there any sleeves you can buy to attach to the rocket?
3) I was told not to use Duracell or Energizer batteries, but to use the cheap ones since the heavy duty ones will burn out the motor?
Answer: The plastic cap usually has little nibs on it to a provide a slightly different sensation, but Kris prefers using it without the cap. It does not really protect anything.
I’ve seen the pocket rocket sold with sleeves, but I have not seen the sleeves sold separately. Sleeves that work with a bullet vibe will also work with a rocket, but again, they are usually sold together.
We’ve used regular Duracell and Energizer batteries and have given the Rocket quite a workout and it still keeps going and going. I’ve heard that cheaper batteries discharge more quickly with a slightly higher power flow, which could work the motors a little harder for a more intense sensation, just the opposite of what you have heard. In actual testing, though, there has been little discernible difference, and we have not experienced a problem with burning out motors over extensive periods of use, so I suspect there is not much to either claim.
A reader writes: My husband recently tried using a sex toy in his butt and really liked it. I am concerned that this might mean he is gay.
Answer: Yes, there are special nerve endings in the anus that when stimulated, make men swear off women and whistle show tunes. Sarcasm aside, questions like this are disturbing (and not uncommon) because they point out a couple of major mythologies in our society that survive only because of the dramatic level of sexual ignorance fostered by our bizarre cultural attitudes about sex.
The first is that anal sex makes men gay. The anus has lots of nerve endings, and being stimulated there can feel good to both men and women. Men, however, have a prostate, which is somewhat similar to the female G-Spot. The only way to get inside and stimulate it is through the anus. Sexual identity is not about how you like to be stimulated.
If a man enjoys anal stimulation, all that means is that he enjoys anal stimulation, period.
A reader writes: My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have never tried any toys. I once reached for a long candle in the heat of the moment when we were first married but it wasn’t a big hit.
She says she loves what I do for her ( I love to eat her pussy) and that that combined with regular sex is very satisfying and is all she would ever need. I still think that a vibrator (simple smoothy) might be fun though.
I don’t know when to introduce the idea of a toy. I thought that perhaps I could try one of those rubber band things that looks like a spikey thing for the end of my penis. Is that a french tickler? Wouldn’t that slip off of my condom?
What if I just slipped one of those on and used it in the dark during sex with out telling her? Would she feel it to the point that it might get her excited to try some other cool stuff? I feel like I have only got one shot at this thing so I want to make it something that will be a positive experience. Sometimes she likes when I put my pinky in her ass while I am eating her out but at times she says it’s “too much.” She tried it on me once and I loved it, it was kind of hard for her to stick her finger in my ass though because of her reach not being long enough while we are making love.
Any thoughts on this?
Answer: French ticklers don’t do much, and many women find them sort of annoying.
If you are trying a little anal play, we would certainly suggest using some lube if you are not already. This makes it a lot more pleasurable. It sounds sort of like she receives but does not give in the oral department, although that is a wonderful time to include anal play. It also works well during a handjob, which is also much better with lube.
We generally feel that surprising people with something new when have already expressed a little hesitancy may not be a good idea. There may be reasons why she is a little hesitant to use toys. She may have some psychological resistance based on perceptions of toys being “dirty” or too slutty a thing to use. It would certainly not hurt to talk about where she is with this and why she is so hesitant. The phrase “all she will ever need” is also telling. What about you and what you need? This is a partnership, after all.
Sex can and should be fun and playful, and experimenting with new things, even when they don’t turn out to be a favorite, can be fun and adventurous. What you need to do is get her into the idea that sex should be more playful and experimental. Start out easy. Try some of the massage oils and give her a very sensuous massage. You might even try one of the edible massage oils such as Making Love Oil, which has a very pleasant taste and is quite fun to lick off. Get the Kama Sutra sampler and try the different products, which is also a great thing to take on a vacation. Often when traveling you are already in an adventurous mood.
With some discussion and encouragement on your part, we suspect you will be able to break her out of her mold. It is probably largely cultural conditioning that has told her nice girls don’t do that, but with lots of loving positive reinforcement, you should be able to assure her that nice girls do.
A reader writes: Loved your site! I’m looking for a toy my wife absolutely adored until it broke! I guess it’s a dildo, but it’s a pump up one. You pump it up till its just firm enough, then insert it, and pump it up till she gets fully stretched, then let it deflate a little, then pump it up again. Used to drive my good lady OUT of her MIND! Sadly,the pumping bulb (kind of like a blood pressure meter) stopped working, so we threw it away. Any ideas where we can get a replacement for this toy?
Answer: There are both inflatable dildos and butt plugs. The Master Series Renegade Inflatable Dildo, available on Amazon, is probably close to what you were using. Like most toys of this type, it is made of Latex and TPR (Thermoplastic Rubber).
Inflatable butt plugs are more popular than vaginal inflatables. For example, there is this one on Amazon. It is made of safe materials. Here arethe specs: Product total length of 52 cm. Pinching balloon length 8.0 cm, diameter 4 cm. Anal plug full-length 12 cm, under normal use, the maximum diameter of 3.5-4.5 cm, 5 under inflated 5-6 cm in maximum diameter.
Inflatables are very popular with the BDSM crowds, so they are sometimes easier to find in shops that cater to that clientele.
A reader writes: I feel extremely stupid–I’m a 50 year old female who has been having good sex most of my life and have no idea exactly where the G spot is and how to stimulate it–I want great sex!!! Please help me.
Answer: Good for you for wanting to take control of your sex life, and don’t feel stupid. I’m still learning things about sex. While there are some who might debate the existence of the G-Spot, those who know how to stimulate it do not. One of the best explanations is at Dr. Gary Schubach’s site. He is one of the world’s leading experts on the subject.